I haven’t blogged about weight in a while, but in the last 5 days, I’ve heard two ugly comments about my size, and I’m annoyed. So here we go.
Last Friday, my work bestie and I went for drinks at one of our usual spots. I went straight from work to the bar, so I wasn’t dressed up and didn’t have makeup on. We weren’t out to pick up men, we were out to have a few drinks and go home to our respective pets and lay on the couch. Well my work bestie is a stunner. Straight out of Miami, tanner on her palest day than I am on my darkest, super fit—you get it. So this older man starts hitting on her, and she’s playing the game with him. She gets up to go to the restroom, and after telling me how beautiful she is, he turns around to his friends, and one of them promptly says, “Yeah she is, but don’t worry, I’ll take the leftovers.”
Y’all know me, so you know that 1. This was my exact face, and 2. I did not stay quiet. Trust and believe I let the old man in love with my friend buy my drinks all night, but that was only after letting he and his friends know about themselves.
Fast forward to Monday: I’m was talking to a guy I met on Bumble (like Tinder but a little less terrible). He’s from the Northeast but living in west Texas, into fitness, kind of looks like Woody Harrelson, seems to have the same sarcastic sense of humor as yours truly—all good signs. We’re talking about weight loss and how I’m working on cutting to a different weight class for Strongman, and he says, “I understand. You’re still cute though.”
I call him out for the use of “though” and that it implies that I’m cute in spite of being heavy, and the backpedaling starts immediately. “That’s not what I meant!” Yeah, well it’s what you said, and whether you did it consciously or not, it’s a dick thing to say.
Y’all. Listen. This might be a shock to some of you, but FAT PEOPLE KNOW THAT THEY ARE FAT. Tall people know they’re tall. People with big feet know they’re walking around on snow shoes. Bald people know you’re catching a glare off their dome outside on a summer day. There are exceptions to every rule, but as a whole, people are aware of themselves.
Like I said before, I haven’t blogged about my weight in a long time. The reality is that yes, I’m heavier than I’ve been in a few years. There’s no one to blame for it, and I’m not back at my starting weight by any means, but yes, I am heavy. And yes, I am looking to cut weight. After going to Nationals and being on the small end of the Super Heavyweight class, I realized that in order to be the most competitive athlete, losing weight needs to be part of this year’s plan. That and if I’m being quite honest, I’m not happy with how I look right now. However, none of that is license for people to be assholes.
So with that being said, let’s get a few things straight:
1. I am no one’s leftovers. In fact, I’m a full entree you probably won’t be able to finish, so get out of my face.
2. Don’t throw stones inside glass houses. If you’re going to refer to me as a leftover, you better be a whole 10-course meal and not what we call a dicky-do back home.
3. It’s not an abomination to be attracted to someone who’s not skinny. In 2013-2014, over 70% of American adults were overweight or obese according to the CDC. I promise you, a good number of those people had other people who were attracted to them.
4. Giving a backhanded compliment isn’t actually giving a compliment. Compliment me or don’t, it’s that simple.
5. Human beings are so much more than their appearance. I don’t ever strive to be cute, to be honest. Everyday I work to be strong. There are days I want to be sexy. There are days I want to be the human equivalent to a potato on my couch. It’s all a balance, but there’s far more to me (and everyone else) than what I look like.
I’ll finish by saying this is not an attempt to make excuses. I acknowledge that being overweight is unhealthy. I’m not asking for sympathy. I’m not asking you to tell me I’m pretty. I’m simply asking that you think about the things that come out of your mouth. Unless you’re my doctor, my coach, or my mom, you don’t get to tell me I’m too fat. Am I in my feelings? Yeah, I am. Not so much for myself—I know who I am and where I’ve been and what my body weight means—but for people who don’t have such a thick skin. Stop being rude and we’ll all be better off.