So I’ve seen this blog showing up on my newsfeed on Facebook the past few days titled 5 Things Men Need to Know About Women (The original post is here: http://jamesmsama.wordpress.com/2013/12/03/5-things-men-need-to-learn-about-women/). Today I decided to open it and check it out as I’m seeing more and more friends repost it. Now I don’t consider myself a feminist (I know, I know, my ability to say that I’m not a feminist makes me one…it’s been brought to my attention more than once), but as I read this post, one word came to mind the entire time: BULLSHIT. The more I read it, the more irritated I got–with the exception of one point that was moderately okay–so now y’all get to enjoy as I pull it apart point by point.
1. It doesn’t matter what you say, it matters how she feels.
The rationale behind this point is that you need to make a woman feel beautiful/sexy/loved/etc., not just tell her. Great, that’s awesome. But it then points out that a woman’s self-esteem is solely rooted in herself. Sure, pal, that’s where it SHOULD be rooted, but you trying being more than a size 00 in today’s world and tell me that my self-esteem is solely rooted in who I am as a person. On the flipside, I could feel like a million bucks all day, every day, but if I have someone consistently telling me that I’m not good enough in whatever way they choose to say it, it’s going to eventually get to me. Bottom line: What you say and how you say it matters.
2. You work on logic; she works on emotions.
Yes this is true because we’re obviously all crazy balls of PMS-type emotions. Give me a break. Are we emotional? Obviously (seeing that this blog has hit a nerve and I’m responding…yes, we run on emotions). But there are men who are just as if not more emotional than we are. To me, this is implying that we don’t know how to handle our emotions. I know plenty of men who, whether they will admit it or not, make decisions based on their emotions every single day.
3. Women don’t compartmentalize.
My first reaction to this point? Shut.The.Fuck.Up. I’m sorry to my readers who don’t talk to me often (or for whom I clean up my potty mouth), but this is ridiculous. Let’s make gross, overarching statements about women! Nah, pal, that isn’t how this works. Part of being good at my job and what I want to do requires that I can compartmentalize. Am I saying I’m perfect at it? Absolutely not. There are nights I sit on my couch and think about everything that happened all day long til the moment I fall asleep (then again, I live by myself, so maybe this will be better when I am no longer #foreveralone). This tool talks about how women might have a bad day at work and they can’t let go of it when they get home–NEWSFLASH, pal, men do that shit too.
4. What women want isn’t that complicated.
This is the one point that I agree with. I find myself to be quite agreeable in relationships because if I care enough about a person, I’m not the a-hole that I usually am. Then again, I had this conversation with a friend and he was like, “Yeah, all women say they’re not complicated.” When I tried to justify this by saying, “But I am a woman!” his response was, “Just because you’re a fish doesn’t mean you’re a good fisherman.” Yeah…I’ll leave it at that.
5. She is more afraid of rejection than you are.
Why is this even relevant? Everyone–male, female, trans*, intersex, dog, cat, parakeet–no one likes rejection. And this can’t even be justified by saying rejection is harder for one sex or the other…rejection is rejection, and like my grandpa used to say about some people, “it’s like an asshole…everybody’s got one, and they all stink.” No one wants to be told they’re not good enough for someone or something. Period.
I think why this post bothered me is because it’s so disgustingly stereotypical. Let me not even start on the heteronormativity of the whole thing–that’s a whole different post in and of itself–but for the love of everything holy, can we stop making women sound like this sub-par beings who need to be taken care of? I suppose I’m preaching to the choir, but this kind of stuff just continues to set us back. Anywho, thanks for listening to my ranting!