ALRIGHT, I’M THE WORLD’S WORST BLOGGER! Anywho, my mid-year resolution is to start blogging once a week for the rest of the year. Now, for a quick update: I’m currently wrapping up an internship in South Carolina and heading back to Texas next week. Next week’s post will be about my summer here, but before then, I’m going to hop atop my soapbox for a quick minute or two. Enjoy!
Since moving to Texas a year ago (357 days ago, to be exact), I’ve been back to New York twice. I went home for 2 weeks during the holidays and just went home last weekend to watch my baby brother graduate from high school. Part of never coming home is never seeing some people. As a millennial, I’m grossly connected on social media, but that doesn’t mean that all of my family members are as connected as I am. Because of this, there are some people–family members, family friends, and my friends alike–that I don’t really talk to unless I’m home. Because of this, you can imagine that I get a lot of the same questions when I see these people. “How’s school?” “How’s Texas?” “When are you moving closer to home?” And my ALL TIME LEAST FAVORITE EVER: “Is there a ‘special someone’ in your life?”
Now, as many of you know, I’m a sarcastic asshole 90% of the time, so I always have to bite my tongue because I want to scream profanities every time I hear this. But as I was driving home with one of my best friends last weekend, we talked about WHY this question is so bothersome. Contrary to popular belief, it’s not because I’m wholly bitter about being single. In fact, it’s not that at all. Let me break it down for you.
I’m 23. Coming out of high school, I was sure that by this time I’d have met that “special someone” and we’d be really serious, maybe even engaged, by this point. That’s obviously not how this life has worked out for me. I’m 23, living in a temporary location, halfway through a grad program, working 35+ hours a week, gearing up for a job search, and overall trying to figure out what I want to do with myself in the next 5 years. Y’all see all of that?? Where am I supposed to fit a relationship into that?? Between blinking and breathing?? Thank you, I’ll pass. Maybe it’s because I see such strong relationships in my family–my parents will celebrate 25 years of marriage in September, last year would have been my grandparents 50th anniversary–that I recognize that I just don’t currently have the time to invest in someone else.
I’m selfish. I’m selfish because I can be. All that stuff going on up there ^^ allows me to live for only me right now. I have the rest of my life to share with a partner and a family, so right now I’m going to enjoy being able to do things solely for my own enjoyment.
I’m jaded. I was in a relationship for 2 years that I thought was everything. That obviously didn’t work out lol because if it did, I wouldn’t be writing this post. I was young and naive and it ended up changing me. Maybe jaded is the wrong word–I don’t hold any resentment toward my ex, in fact, I probably owe him a thank you for teaching me more about myself and what I want out of life than anyone else has.
PHEW! Now that y’all really know how I feel, let me say this. The next time someone asks me if there’s someone special in my life, I’m going to say yes. I have a lot of special someones. I have a family that I love dearly. They drive me crazy, but I couldn’t ask for a better support system. I have a reckless group of friends that’s starting to calm down as we age, and I love the men and women we’re turning into. I have coworkers who have taught me how to be a professional and what my “style” looks like in the world of student affairs. I have mentors who push me to do my best and won’t let me settle, even when I might want to. All these special someones are the relationships I need right now at 23, and I’m okay with all of it.
(Now with that being said, all you biddies tell me that relationships come when you aren’t looking for them, so if I meet the man of my dreams over lunch today, I’ll delete this post, but fat chance of that happening)